Morning Reminder

This summer, I'm spending the bulk of my time racking up graduate hours in pursuit of master's degree #2. It's always daunting (and healthy) to step back in the role of student, but the course I'm currently enrolled in has probably yielded more professional growth in a week than any grad course I took during my first master's program.

 In this particular course, I've had the pleasure of being around some really fine folks I never would have run into otherwise. It's amazing that I find myself learning and growing, even being inspired, simply through proximity.

One person I've learned a great deal from already is a retired teacher named Colleen. I've learned much from her because in some ways, we are quite opposite.

To explain:

• I am quick to speak. She times her words perfectly. 
• I throw out words like candy on Halloween. She conserves hers, using them purposefully and precisely. 
• I ask pointed questions to push people in a direction. She asks thought-provoking questions that help other people to answer their own. 

But here's our biggest difference: I feel a constant need to assert myself in conversations. I interrupt, I correct, I hear but make little attempt to understand. She listens. Plain and simple. Perhaps this is the key reason that her feedback is always helpful, always purposeful, and always well-received (even if it's semi-corrective).

This morning, I read in Proverbs that "If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." I'm fairly positive that my need to answer before listening has been my folly and shame more times and in more contexts (marriage, career, parenting,coaching,etc.) than I care to remember. I've probably offended and frustrated more students, players, parents, and friends than I realize by rushing to answer rather than actually listening deeply to them.

This is why I'm so thankful God puts people like Colleen in my path. Through such people, I'm learning that words often follow rules of supply and demand; flooding the market with them usually drives their value down, but spent wisely, they become precious commodities. I'm learning to listen, honestly listen, not just to what people are saying, but also to the feelings they're expressing. I'm learning to ask the deeper questions but to clarify understanding before doing so. I'm learning to sit and let others finish...the entire thought...they are expressing...rather than jumping in...and hijacking our interaction.

As I always say, I'm a work in progress...but arent' we all?

***Late addition: Colleen, if I've totally misrepresented you, feel free to scold me during coaching group.

Score...

Simple truths learned while at Barnes and Noble with no agenda and no time constraints:

• Being surrounded by books is always a good feeling. 
• Teen Paranormal Romance is a genre that now commands its own section? 
• Conversing with Bill Bryson would be sweet, but I'm certain I'd make a fool of myself if I ever got the chance to meet him.
• It's a surreal feeling to see the complete sonnets of William Shakespeare shelved so near to Snooki's autobiography. 
• I'm a fool for not purchasing the discount card. I buy books...lots of them. It would pay for itself quickly. 
• Buying a book is a good feeling even if you have no idea when (or if) you'll get around to reading it. 
• If it didn't cause more work for the employees, I'd always grab an Ann Coulter book and an Al Franken book and arrange them side-by-side in the Marriage section. 
• When I see that section for Manga, I always think of that Chris Kattan character, Mango, from his days on SNL. 
• Seeing awesome-looking personal journals just reminds me that my handwriting sucks. 
• I scored on two books both marked down to under $8. 

My Haul

The Mango

Killing Zombies

Every week or so, I get together with a few young guys to have breakfast, talk life, pray, and examine God's word.  Whenever we get together, we have a passage of the Bible that we all read beforehand and then discuss over a morning meal.  Sometimes the discussion goes on for a while and gets pretty deep; sometimes the conversation is short and to the point.  Regardless, it's awesome to watch God use any and all of our discussions to open our eyes to His truth.  Today was no exception.

Today we attempted to tackle Romans 6 and 7.  Admittedly, there's no way we can fully delve into two chapters like these in an hour over greasy (translated delicious) diner-style breakfast, but what little of Paul's letter to the Romans we did get to today hit me like a brick.

The main part we discussed comes from the beginning of Romans 6, which reads:

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound?  By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?  Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?  We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.  We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.  For one who has died has been set free from sin.  Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.  So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

In this passage, Paul refutes the idea that because sin gives occasion to God's grace, we should sin all the more.  After asking the question, "Should we just keep sinning so God will pour out more grace?" Paul emphatically answers, "OF COURSE NOT!"  But, why not?  Why, Paul, would I not continue to give into my sinful nature so I can receive more of God's grace?  Paul's answer is incredibly complex, but incredibly simple at the same time.  We don't sin because identifying with Christ means dying.  Those who have given lordship of their lives to Christ are those who have allowed their old, sinful nature to be "crucified with Christ." So if the old self is dead, who are we now?  As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5, "If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 

This is the huge truth that struck me like a punch to the face today.  Through the death of Christ, I am a new creation.  The old Andy is effectively dead and I'm no longer enslaved to sin as he was; in fact, I'm dead to it.  Why is this so important?  This is important because I know who I used to be; I know how willfully sinful I used to be.  There are times when I ask myself, "What right do I have to tell people about following Christ and living a life that's pleasing and honoring to God when I know my own track record of not doing so myself?"  Paul knew this all too well.  

Before Jesus called him, Paul was spending his time in what he thought was ultimate service to God...exterminating Christianity.  Can you imagine what it was like when he rolled in proclaiming Jesus as the only path to salvation?  Do you think anybody might have been like, "Bro, you spent years killing Jesus' posse and now you want to tell me about how I should trust in him? Right...." 

So why did Paul have no hesitancy in proclaiming Christ?  Why did he not cower under the weight of his murderous, anti-Jesus past?  Because the old Paul (aka Saul) was no more.

For those of us who, because of our sinful past, wonder whether we have the "right" to proclaim the truth of Christ, what would Paul tell us?  He'd likely tell us this: "You're right; the old you has no right to tell people how to live...good thing that old you is dead, crucified with Christ so that you no longer live, but Christ lives in you."

How comforting is that?  Sure you were a drunkard/cheater/liar/adulterer/abuser/racist/jerk/idolater/pervert/thief/sower of discord/(insert label here); what of it?  That old self and its sin-loving nature was nailed to the cross, and you've been raised to life in Christ, empowered to live a life that honors your Creator!

Awesome!  But here's the catch; our old self has a zombie-like nature.  Like the undead of Hollywood fame, while we're still physically living, our old nature will always have a habit of resurrecting itself and seeking to once again leave a trail of destruction in its wake.  Therefore, the putting to death of our old self becomes not just a one-time event, but a daily discipline. Jesus assured as much when he said in Luke that whoever would follow him would have to "take up his cross daily."  Crosses were used for one purpose in the ancient world: death.  Thus, when Christ himself says, "Take up your cross daily," he's implying that from the day of our conversion to the day we're put six feet under, we're going to be about the business of killing the zombie of our former self.

It won't always be easy, and it won't always be pretty, but isn't it good to know that in Christ, you're not who you were ten years ago? two weeks ago? yesterday? ten minutes ago?  

It sure is for me.  

Keep killing that zombie,
A. Love

Fake Believe

I saw a tweet the other day that really punched me in the gut.

There is a difference between making people feel important and believing that they are important.

Wow.  If there is a place that I struggle, it is in this area.  While I proclaim with my mouth that I believe all life was breathed into being by a loving, creative God, I know that inwardly I devalue people on a daily basis. Sadly, I know that such inward attitudes have a knack for clearly manifesting themselves regardless of my attempts to mask them. 

Here's an example.  I'm a morning planner.  I like walking into my classroom (coffee in hand), and getting right to the job of fine-tuning and finishing my lesson plans for the day.  I don't go in unprepared, but I do like to have a time of quiet solitude in which to gather my thoughts and prep materials.  However, it is usually in these moments of professional privacy that I hear a knock on my door.  Nine times out of ten, that knock is coming from a student who, nine times out of ten, has no real agenda other than just wandering past my room and dropping in to shoot the breeze.

This, of course, upsets my morning ritual, thus triggering an alarm in my brain which exclaims, "But I had plans this morning!" I think to myself, "How dare this young person amble into my 'moment of teacher zen' and throw off my routine?!"   

When I think of these moments, I cringe because the routine for dealing with such intrusion is all too familiar:

1. offer a casual (but not overly inviting) smile so they sense I'm at least semi-pleased they've come by
2. split attention between person and computer screen so it's obvious I'm working (appear anxious so as to communicate that I REALLY want to chat, but am just working furiously)
3. gently push them to a purpose so that if they did have a class-related reason for coming, they'll not beat around the bush
4. tell them (on their way out) how much I appreciate them coming by
5. lock the door upon their exit

Now, to be honest, I don't even think that this shameful procedure even counts as making someone feel important. I'm sure that it has more likely made too many people feel far less than valued.  However, even if a charade like this manages to give off some semblance of sincere concern unfortunately pitted against  dedication to my job, I know full well that I, in such moments, am not truly believing in the importance of a uniquely-gifted, God-created individual.

Few students will admit it while in school, but teachers are most kids' heroes. On an average day, many kids see and interact with their teachers and coaches more than their own parents.  I know that one of the most powerful things that can happen in the life of a student is for them to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a teacher truly believes in and values them.  If this wasn't true, then I wouldn't be so prone to read the note my AP Lit. teacher wrote in the front cover of the Mark Twain book she gave me when I graduated high school.  Reading her kind words often restores my spirit and reinvigorates me in times of discouragement.  She saw importance in me and made sure I knew it.

I draw on her words again and again, so why would I not want to offer the same to my students?

In reality, that is the kind of effect I want to have on people. Obviously, this hits home for me in the sphere of education.  However, this desire also spills over into my interactions with my friends, family, and acquaintances. 

Ultimately, I want to truly believe these things:

• Everyone was created by a loving God (Psalm 139:13-14)
• Everyone was created to be an image bearer of their Creator (Genesis 1:26)
• Everyone was created to know God and to manifest God-given, unique giftings and talents (Romans 12:6-8, 1 Cor. 14:4-11)
• Everyone was created to know God and use their God-given talents/abilities to glorify Him (1 Peter 4:10-11)
• It is impossible to love God and devalue people who were created for His glory and for whom He sent Christ as an atoning sacrifice. (1 John 4:20)

I'm pretty sure that if these truths were to take root in my mind, when that young student wanders into my class and interrupts my final moments of preparation for a day's chaos, I'd ditch the "fake believe" routine. Instead, that student might go into their day confidently knowing that there is someone who sees them as God does: important.