Morning Reminder

This summer, I'm spending the bulk of my time racking up graduate hours in pursuit of master's degree #2. It's always daunting (and healthy) to step back in the role of student, but the course I'm currently enrolled in has probably yielded more professional growth in a week than any grad course I took during my first master's program.

 In this particular course, I've had the pleasure of being around some really fine folks I never would have run into otherwise. It's amazing that I find myself learning and growing, even being inspired, simply through proximity.

One person I've learned a great deal from already is a retired teacher named Colleen. I've learned much from her because in some ways, we are quite opposite.

To explain:

• I am quick to speak. She times her words perfectly. 
• I throw out words like candy on Halloween. She conserves hers, using them purposefully and precisely. 
• I ask pointed questions to push people in a direction. She asks thought-provoking questions that help other people to answer their own. 

But here's our biggest difference: I feel a constant need to assert myself in conversations. I interrupt, I correct, I hear but make little attempt to understand. She listens. Plain and simple. Perhaps this is the key reason that her feedback is always helpful, always purposeful, and always well-received (even if it's semi-corrective).

This morning, I read in Proverbs that "If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." I'm fairly positive that my need to answer before listening has been my folly and shame more times and in more contexts (marriage, career, parenting,coaching,etc.) than I care to remember. I've probably offended and frustrated more students, players, parents, and friends than I realize by rushing to answer rather than actually listening deeply to them.

This is why I'm so thankful God puts people like Colleen in my path. Through such people, I'm learning that words often follow rules of supply and demand; flooding the market with them usually drives their value down, but spent wisely, they become precious commodities. I'm learning to listen, honestly listen, not just to what people are saying, but also to the feelings they're expressing. I'm learning to ask the deeper questions but to clarify understanding before doing so. I'm learning to sit and let others finish...the entire thought...they are expressing...rather than jumping in...and hijacking our interaction.

As I always say, I'm a work in progress...but arent' we all?

***Late addition: Colleen, if I've totally misrepresented you, feel free to scold me during coaching group.